As both human resources professionals and managers, we often have to interject ourselves into employee situations that call for tact and empathy so as to deescalate or avoid conflict. Even when no conflict exists, it only takes a word or phrase to create conflict where, prior to those words being released, peace reigned.
It is therefore paramount that leaders especially be diligent and literally think twice before uttering words that they may later regret. A musing can cause ripples and give cause for rumors that, as we all know, are hard to walk back once they become part of the landscape.
This is where practicing and exhibiting “eunoia” comes in. Translated from Greek, it means “beautiful thinking” or “well mind.” Per Aristotle, it forms the basis of the ethical foundation of human life. From a management and HR perspective though, it is the means by which we create trust and receptivity for positive and productive rhetorical engagement.
Put plainly, it refers to thinking in a way which is beautiful, insightful, heartfelt, and full of good will. Succinctly put, leaders inspire, and to inspire, you must have eunoia (beautiful thinking). For words to have the power to influence and move, the thinking behind those words must first be well formed. This is the essence of eunoia. It is not just about thinking before speaking but thinking well before letting words escape out into the wilds wherein they will either have positive impact, clunk with apathy, or wreak havoc.
So how do we all do this so that our words matter? Below is an acronym which is both easy to remember as it is to share: THINK.
True – Be honest and truthful in regard to both your thoughts and words. This means to not only not lie, but don’t get caught up in the easy trap of overstatement. For example, avoid words that convey absolutism such as “never,” “always,” and “everyone.” Such statements earn eye rolls and are easily give reason for those listening to immediately disengage or to dismiss your words as hyperbole.
Helpful – Is what you are about to say going to be helpful? Will it be received as helpful? Is it coming from a good place with empathy and a mutual desire to advance forward? If you are not looking to be part of their journey, then it is not a journey you should be trying to force them to take on alone.
Inspiring – How you approach a subject is as important as the content. Expressing your own vulnerability, using comedy, or providing a fresh perspective on an issue are all angles you can take to make what you are saying inspiring and relatable. On the flip side, if it is negative information, griping about the world, whining about things that really aren’t important, then maybe not bring those items up. Know that when you speak, everything you say is always a reflection on you. I know it is hard to resist complaining about things at times, but realize you are the creator of your own story. What do you want to be remembered for?
Necessary – This one is hard, but especially important to prevent foot in mouth syndrome. Just because you are upset about something or seriously excited about an idea, it is worth it to take a step back before expressing it outward. We are not saying to keep things secret, but definitely don’t speak before really thinking through as to who should know, when they should know it, how much they should know, what exactly they should know, etc. Sometimes less is more. Sometimes, nothing said is best.
Kind – Finally, we come to the emotional aspect of words. All words have power and those that are full of emotive energy are the most powerful. As Benjamin Franklin once stated, “If you would persuade, you must appeal to interest rather than intellect.” Be kind with your words. Show empathy. Establish from the outset that you are on the side of your audience. Think beautifully about them and the message you want to convey. If people you speak with feel you have their interest at heart, they return the favor with good will and effort to meet you part of the way, even if your words don’t come out as you like them to. This is the beauty of eunoia…beautiful thinking may not always convert into beautiful words, but those you are speaking with won’t care so much since what you are saying is conveying beautiful thoughts.